Many thanks to my friend, A. for sending this article byDenise LeFay that describes what many of us have been feeling over the past few years. For me, I have been wondering, “Wait a minute, if I AM a Light worker…how come I’m not in a great mood? I AM not in a terrible mood, but aren’t I supposed to BE happier, now that I know my truth?”?

So…please read on and learn more about why we feel the way we do, the possible reasons for our feelings, and…

InJoy!

For some 2016 has been far more difficult and challenging than what 2014 and 2015 combined were, and that’s saying something! Since the completion of 2012, the energy Stair-steps have been something else have they not? And they’ve often not been anything like what we Forerunners thought or expected them to be either. The NEW very much is new to each of us because we’ve never done this before, anywhere, and that’s just perfect and wonderful even when it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. I think many of us have been and still are so deep within this phase of the Ascension Embodiment Process that we can’t as yet quite grasp just how much we’ve actually changed (evolved).

Because 2016 has been unusually difficult for me personally, I’ve spent some time and focus trying to figure out why. I could look at this from a strictly astrological viewpoint and understand the transits interacting with my natal planets and such, but this old beloved tool is taking place at higher, more complex Ascension Process levels too. I’ll always enjoy and appreciate astrological insights, but even that tool must be considered in NEW ways because we are evolving, and quickly.

I had to go deeper to find the Ascension Embodiment Process answers I was desirous of to help me better understand why I’ve had such a hard time of it this year. Even how I have accessed higher information (Light), Higher Awareness in this lifetime has drastically changed since 2012 because I am evolving beyond those old, well-familiar lower frequency tools too, all Forerunners are, hence why some of us are seemingly, I repeat seemingly floundering this year. We are however not floundering at all but individually transitioning into greater amounts of the NEW internally and externally. Having said all that, feeling increasingly depressed and isolated was not at all what I expected would happen to me in 2016, and I needed to understand why I’ve felt like this much of this year.

Let’s recap these three Stair-step Energy Waves to see what we can See and Know.

First of these Stair-steps or Energy Waves began around December 19, 2015 and was like getting hit by a HighHeart Mack truck; wonderful, traumatic and unexpected.

Second of these Stair-steps began around March 2016 and caused many Forerunners to go into deeper feelings of being more alone and isolated.

Third of the 2016 Energy Waves Stair-steps will begin in September and no doubt be even more intense and potent throughout the last three months of 2016 to help prepare us for the start of even higher energies coming in throughout the three Light Waves of 2017.

Honestly look back over what all has happened to you, your life and consciousness just since December 2015. Like me, you’ll realize that you have changed considerably since then, not that we’re anywhere done with this yet however. Nonetheless, look at how you’ve changed in that short period and how it has made you feel. Like me, have you felt increasingly alone and isolated from the world and humanity? Have you felt more empowered despite feeling depressed at times? Despite feeling utterly disgusted with many humans lately and knowing with Higher Awareness the many reasons why? Do you feel yourself increasingly becoming more ‘Sovereign’ with each Stair-step you traverse in 2016? Do you understand that (and this one took me some time to figure out) the feelings of growing isolation and being alone is actually you/me/we becoming increasingly Sovereign within ourselves individually?

It’s taken me a while to put two and two together because I’m still very much living this phase of the Embodiment Process and not done with it yet. ‘Is it soup yet?’  ‘Are we there yet?’  ‘Are we Home yet?’  Not quite yet but almost.

Becoming depressed was the absolute last thing I’d ever have thought I’d feel at this point in the Ascension Process and it confused me greatly. I haven’t worked this long and this hard to just reach “depression”!!! OMG, you’ve got to be kidding me! With some effort I finally began to understand that what was being interpreted by myself as “depression” and “aloneness” was in fact the early stages of Embodiment. It seemed a contradiction at first but the more I looked at the situation, the better I came to understand it was just a change in perspective (on everything) that was making me temporarily feel alone and depressed at times. It was NEW in the greatest, largest sense.

Since birth in this incarnation I’ve felt alone because I have been alone on this physical planet and dimension and isolated from the normal higher frequencies of Home other than what I brought in with me at birth. I was a Volunteer Forerunner spy in a foreign land and deep undercover all my life so feeling alone and isolated isn’t new to me or any other Volunteer/Starseed/Forerunner/Pathpaver etc. Neither is feeling depressed from time to time, but during 2016, this has felt very different. It felt intensely personal, it was all me, all mine and I didn’t get it for almost half of this year. I now do which means it’s going to be vastly easier not to mention an even faster Process than it already is.

Those of us who Volunteered to incarnate in 3D to help with the Ascension Process in the physical typically came in with some shock and trauma because of how negative, Dark and evil the entire planet was. We adapted and adjusted as much as we could to survive being in physical 3D as a human while carrying more Light in us than would ever be allowed by Team Dark (TD). We acclimated as best we could and did what we came here to do. Now however this has all reversed (at the Expiration Date of December 2012) and we’ve been struggling—much like we did early on in these incarnations—to cast-off those old lower frequency, negative and Dark energies, habits, traits, consciousness and so on we accumulated while down here as we “ascend” both ourselves while in physical bodies and the entire planet and much more with us. I would think a bought or two of depression and feeling alone would be expected at some points within all this.

Seriously, after this lifetime of living among the “walking dead” zombie parasites called mass humanity and normal reality on 3D Earth, many of us have been Embodying our Higher Source Self into these physical bodies and incarnate Selves which could not be any more opposite from the “walking dead” parasites and parasitic life and reality! This profoundly extreme opposite feels, at this point at least, like we’re alone in this Embodiment Process down here in physicality. You and I know we’re not and that Home and Family has always had our backs and yet, we’ve HAD to do this on our own down here, otherwise what’s been the point to all this?

I’m stressing this point because after leaving our natural state of and higher levels of individual Sovereignty, to be reconnecting with IT again down here in the physical finally feels unusual at best and depressing at worst at this point. We’ll get there however.

At one level it feels strange to us to individually be increasingly connecting with and Embodying our Higher Source Self. This naturally causes one to become increasingly ‘sovereign’ meaning absolutely no more parasitic actions, people, life, reality, actions etc. etc. We have IT all within us individually which means to us as we are now, we feel more “alone”, more “isolated” as anyone would after a lifetime of living on a completely parasitic world reality. We’re not feeding from the trough of others in any way or ways but have evolved to the level where we’re finally becoming Home again meaning we’re Self as Source Sovereign and need nothing else. To the old parts of us this mega shift feels like we’re more and more alone, even more different than we were before, and more isolated in some ways because of it. This will change with time and with us Embodying even more of our Greater Selves but for now it’s all rather weird and wonderful, and sometimes depressing because it’s hard to fit so much Divine Source into such little packages as these incarnate bodies and Selves.

Why So Many “Walking Dead” In My Life Now?

Another thing that’s repeatedly been in my life (and “new” old house) all of 2016 are numerous completely unaware and/or just starting to “wake up” people, all of them male.

Some of you may remember an article I wrote in January 2016 (if memory serves) where I talked about what I’d experienced via the First Stair-step Energy Wave around December 19, 2015. I had suddenly fallen in love and became LOVE for brief periods so IT wouldn’t destroy me, my body, psyche or central nervous system etc. It was all rather weird and unusual for me to suddenly be seeing males (again) as things I wanted to hang out with and more. Euw, what, no no no, I closed that sexual door at age 39 when called back to the Cosmic Ascension Monastery again. It was a far too easy portal for Team Dark to get at me through so I deliberately closed it then for that reason.

So when the first of these particular Waves began last December, no one was more surprised than me to be eyeballin’ certain younger-than-me males. Again, just because something is interpreted at first as such and such by us does not mean that’s what it really is. Don’t do anything sudden or stupid but keep going, pay attention and do your best to figure it out from a higher level of awareness.

Let me lay this out for you this way because I think it’ll be easier for us all.

First HighHeart Wave of this period began December 19, 2015 and for me had to do with falling in love with males while simultaneously being LOVE myself for short periods.

Second HighHeart Wave Stair-step of March and April 2016 (this has been almost constant for me however and not only these two months) has for me been about repeatedly on a one-on-one basis dealing with different males that are totally unaware patriarchal “walking dead” parasitic zombies, and slowly “awakening” males with still very heavy overlays of old lower patriarchal negative everything. You wouldn’t believe some of the negativity I’ve experienced this year from these lower consciousness, female disrespecting, parasitic patriarchal males. (A couple of other males have been honest and equal with me which was beyond wonderful.) But mostly frustrating, heartbreaking, downright dangerous at times, absolutely unbelievable at other times, and all one big old lower world patriarchal “hot mess”.

The third Stair-step Wave of September and the rest of the year will give me and everyone else the time and focus to find solutions/integration/resolution etc. beyond the two highly dualized one-two punches of #1 and #2 Waves. Wave #3 is when and where I can, you can, we all can work on and reach Triality, Neutrality, Unity with the particular issues—whatever they’ve been for each of us in 2016—before the year completes and we evolve into much higher energy Waves of 2017. This is how this Duality business has seemed to work post 2012; 1 and 2 yearly Waves or Stair-steps are typically fairly extreme opposites with #3 Wave being the point where we’re able to See, Know, integrate, resolve or Neutralize the wild extremes into One within ourselves.

But for now while in Wave #2, I’m still dealing with low consciousness males (all hot for Trump and eager to tell me all about it) and doing my best to discern when to open my mouth and when not to. Some of these people (Portal People) are just so easy for TD and/or negative energies etc. to work through to try to get at you/me/us so be aware and wise and in your HighHeart.

The other day I had an electrician here doing some work on the house and first he tried to puff himself up to intimidate me and when that and other tactics didn’t work, TD stepped in, took over and tried. That didn’t work either but good gawd, what a thing to experience only a foot away! This is always interesting to See and experience firsthand but enough already, so get this one figured out Denise before the fence guy and other handymen comes back in a few days. I can’t wait to get to September 2016 and work on these two old patriarchal extremes and move on.

Denise

June 14, 2016

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