Tag: sensitivity

Navigating The Journey To Unconditional Love ~ October 6, 2019


By John Amodeo

Children need to be loved without conditions. As they struggle through life, we need to be unendingly patient — taking many deep breaths, and offering guidance repeatedly. Embodying a consistently loving, accepting presence, we create a climate for safe attachment. As adults, we also desire and need safe relationships. Opening our heart, we want to trust that a beloved partner or loyal friend will be there when we need them. 

However, if we look too fervently and exclusively to one person to fill all our needs (for acceptance, belonging, meaning), we may be expecting something that one person cannot provide. Taken to an extreme, we may echo the silent plea of the narcissistic child: Love me and supply what I need … despite how I treat you. 

Clinging to a sense of entitlement, we may fly into blame or rage when our partner’s needs clash with our own. For better or worse, mature love can only thrive under certain conditions. Just as a rose needs ample sun, water, and nutrients to survive and flourish, we cannot expect love to thrive under sterile or hostile conditions. There needs to be (enough) mutuality.

Honoring Boundaries 

Loving doesn’t mean always supplying what another person wants, being tirelessly accepting, and having no needs of our own. An immature view of love saddles us with the obligation to satisfy every need, soothe every sorrow, and comply with every request — and we wind up berating ourselves for not being spirituality evolved if we fall short of that ideal.

The challenge in every healthy relationship is being responsive to our partner while also affirming our own needs and longings. This means honoring ourselves enough to have limits and set boundaries — being willing to respond with our own “yes,” our “no,” and our “maybe.”

Loving means being sensitive to the space between ourselves and others — being respectful, attentive, and attuned to each other’s feelings and wants. It means slowing down, staying connected to our body, and allowing ourselves to be affected by what others feel and want.

Love asks us to take another’s requests seriously and to make them happy, if we can do so without harming ourselves. It doesn’t mean feeling obligated always to say “yes.” But it does mean that declining a request must be done with respect and sensitivity, rather than in a harsh or dismissive way, which damages trust. Or it means working things out so that both of our needs can be met.

If our partner wants us to visit our difficult in-laws, we can decline with empathy and kindness. We can vulnerably express our fears and concerns, which allows our partner to understand and respond to our needs and wants.

A key to the elusive intimacy we seek is letting ourselves be seen while seeing another’s inner life. The process of sharing and being responsive to our respective inner worlds is usually more important than the outcome.

Dancing With Fire

Love requires an expansive and spacious presence. It cannot flourish if we ignore or minimize our partner’s needs. But neither can it thrive if we deny our own desires, which can create resentment. Part of a loving bond is trusting that our partner is strong enough to experience occasional disappointment when we’re not inclined to be accommodating — and trusting that being true to ourselves won’t damage the relationship, as long as we do it kindly.

A healthy relationship doesn’t mean fusing or merging. We’re separate people who have differences that require respect. The popular view of unconditional love fails to recognize the importance of developing frustration tolerance when things don’t go our way. Relationships become stronger when we both have a capacity for self-soothing — taking care of ourselves emotionally when soothing from others is not forthcoming.

Love cannot mean that our partner must deny their desires in order to accommodate us. Nor can it mean suppressing our own longings in order to wear the spiritual badge of honor of being unconditionally loving. In this way, partnerships are equivalent to dancing with fire (which is why I titled my book as such). There’s the fire of another’s burning needs, and that fire of our own desires. Working with how our desires interact is a central part of the art of loving.

Self-Honesty

Love cannot thrive without courageous self-awareness and rigorous self-honesty. Is our “no” payback for perceived injuries? Are we perpetuating a power struggle? Have we stored up hurts and resentments that leak out?

Healthy relationships require knowing our feelings, our limits, and our motivations. Is it really too painful to visit our in-laws? Or do we want our partner to feel the pain we’re carrying from some past event?

The greatest gift we can give another person is the gift of our own personal growth. The more we know ourselves and develop the courage and skills to communicate our inner experience, the more that trust and love can flourish.

Mutual Loving

It may be unwise and impossible to love unconditionally in the sense of staying with a partner no matter how poorly they treat us, or how destructive it is for us (being severely depressed or suicidal). But if we define unconditional love as follows, I’m all in, although I prefer the less grandiose term “mature love,” as defined in The Authentic Heart:

  • We’re committed to the process of open, honest, nonviolent communication.
  • We’re committed to offering a sacred, spacious, non-defensive presence — listening as best we can, and taking our beloved’s feelings and wants seriously, while also expressing our own.
  • We’re moved by love and caring, not duty or obligation.
  • Love overrides little annoyances that occur in every relationship. We accept differences and work with them skillfully.
  • We share power. We don’t always get exactly what we want.~~~~~~~~~

1 The 9th Dimensional Arcturian Council ~ Sensing Your Way Through the Shift The 9th Dimensional Arcturian Council ~ Sensing Your Way Through the Shift ~ March 1, 2018


By Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

You have taken yourselves to the point in your evolution where you are much more capable of sensing what is happening and determining for yourselves where you need to go, which direction to take, and what to do. The heightened sensitivity, or intuition, is the result of many downloads of codes and information that you’ve been receiving over the past several years.

You are more receptive to energy and better able to feel the subtle differences in vibration. This has all led you to a place where you can now let go of the attachment that most of you have to figuring everything out, analyzing, and deducing. These are the ways of the mind, and the mind is the tool of the ego, which is of course your third dimensional operating system.

Your sensitivity, which used to seem like a detrimental trait, is now one of your more prized assets. As you step ever closer to the fifth-dimensional threshold, your ability to sense will be utilized more and more to determine which timeline to take, which beings to trust, and what you need to do in your personal lives to bring you into the fifth-dimensional frequency range.

There is no stopping you now, and we are feeling very comfortable with the way humanity is evolving, but we cannot make you trust these instincts and these sensitivities that you are becoming more and more aware of. So we will just encourage you to sink even deeper within your feeling states so that you may sharpen your ability to sense what is right for you in the moment, what is right for humanity, and what is the best possible path to your ascension.

We, along with many other beings, are very proud to say that we can sense your readiness to be more empowered to take this shift to the next level.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

~~~~~~~~~

October 2015 Energy Forecast: Transformation at the Speed of Light ~ Oct. 4, 2015


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Lee Harris – Hello and welcome to the Energy Forecast for October 2015.

Before we get started, let’s just take a few breaths together.

(Lee breathes deeply in and out)

Transformation at the speed of light: This is very much where we find ourselves right now, as individuals and as a collective.

One of the ongoing themes for you this month will be noticing how many things you are going through in one day, one week, one month. This can lead many of you, particularly after the intensity of this past summer, to an October that’s going to require you to take a little more space, a little more stillness.

You might want to sleep and rest more than you usually do. Some of you might find that your high-intensity exercise or physical routines need to just come down a notch or two—so that you can actually learn to balance everything that is pulsing through your system without necessarily stirring the pot some more.

The electrical energy field of the planet is continually changing and advancing, which means that sensitivity gets higher. Those of you who are going through deep awakenings are noticing sudden sensitivity shifts. You suddenly become a lot more open. You suddenly feel and sense things a great deal more. More and more, this is happening for everybody across the planet.

Now, these shifts don’t always look very, what you might call, spiritual. But then I would argue that spirituality and spiritual people don’t always look very spiritual either, especially if we try to label them as highly enlightened, ever-peaceful, or ever-loving—because we are human. And as humanity, we are all evolving and going through our stuff in our growth here on Earth.

Invoking calm and quiet

With these lightning speed transformations that are raising the sensitivity, some of you will notice that you need to be a lot more quiet (in addition to needing more rest and sleep) because the volume level of everything around you is a lot higher.

Some of you will notice that you just need to keep calming things down while you get used to how fast everything is going.

Setting loving, firm boundaries

Regarding the people who I just mentioned—those who don’t look very spiritual—remember that there is an intensity of conflict and release energy going on for lots of people on the planet.

If you’re becoming more sensitive, what’s happening is you’re pulsing much more pure energy through your system—and that pure energy is affecting you at the levels of mind and emotions.

This is why people are acting out a little more in the everyday of humanity. They are more easily triggered, more easily irritated, more easily accusatory, more easily emotional.

So issues may arise with certain people in your life where you need to set loving, firm boundaries. There is no need for you to be on the receiving end of repetitive and abusive behavior from another person.

The power of being in your heart

In general, if you can, try and remember to stay in your heart as much as possible. It will make it easier to not get so tangled up in some of the dramas or the conflicts that you’re invited to.

And if you can’t be in your heart right now, know that you’re not doing it wrong. It’s a total practice for all of us because it’s not how we have been trained. We’ve been trained to be very opinion-based, mentally focused people.

And those of you who came in wired to be highly sensitive and have found your way through your healing path—you are now in a place where you’re ready to practice more vulnerable, open, and honest communication—these are wonderful, highly supportive times for all of that.

Freedom from “getting it right”

But don’t be surprised if, from the left or the right, something comes in from your past that you find yourself playing out with someone in the present.

This is an accelerated time, and it’s a very multidimensional time. It’s a time to discover that when we agree to open in a multidimensional way, and when we are being pushed by the universal energy and life force to do that, it’s going to be chaotic at times. Therefore, one of the greatest things you can remind yourself of is that there is no getting it right.

So, if any of you out there believe that you have to get it right in your yoga practice, you have to get it right with your mother-in-law, you have to get it right with that person down the road who needs your help—try and let go of this concept of right. It’s all perspective.

You don’t need to be thinking about what’s right and wrong when you’re able to live in your heart more often … because the heart always wants to give where giving can be received and where the human body has the energy to support that giving.

Recalibration for the “over-givers” among us

This is why those of you who are over-givers might be a little freaked out right now. You may not be wanting to give to everybody all the time. But that’s fantastic! That is exactly where you need to be for a period of time.

But don’t worry. This too shall pass. You can go back to over-giving as much as you want in the future, but you’ll be doing it with a clearer sense of what you need to sustain yourself when giving … and with the discernment to choose where you can carefully give your energy and see it multiplied.

Multidimensionality loves multiplicity … and speed

When you open up to being your more multidimensional self, going back to a linear way of being can be quite boring. It might feel a little dulled down to try and have a more linear conversation again or, especially, to have a more linear life where you’re focusing on one thing at a time.

So those of you who are opening multidimensionality and perhaps examining certain aspects of yourself—for example, over-giving—recognize that our wounds AND strengths are coming up in equal measure at the moment.

So you might be learning how to say,

 

“Wow, I can really give at a high-capacity, and I’m going to value and honor that. At the same time, I recognize that because I haven’t always valued my ability to give, or even seen that in myself, right now I’m dealing with the wound of over-giving. It’s showing up with this friend who is yanking my chain because I’m not giving them as much as I used to. And that hurts and wounds me. They say, “Hey! Why aren’t you doing what you used to do? You’re not a very nice person.”

If, when any of those kinds of words come at you, you feel something in your body (if it feels like a hit to your body), try to not make it about the other person. Try instead to ask yourself, “Huh, what tender point did they touch in me?”

Inquiring about and noticing your own inner reactions will very quickly bring you back to the present. That is because these reactions are very past. They can be from this lifetime or they can be generational woundings that have been carried through your family line. But, in any case, it’s all leaving and moving out now at a rapid speed.

The linear mind used to be able to track everything. It used to have plenty of time to reflect, digest, and go, “Three months ago I had this great breakthrough and I’m still riding on it.” Now it’s like three hours have gone by and you’ve forgotten about it—because you haven’t got time to track everything. And that’s okay.

The more you get into your heart, the less you need to track everything.

Extraordinary new energies coming through you

To come full circle, remember…

  • Practice being in the heart.
  • There is no mental right or wrong in human conflict disagreements – there are perspectives.
  • You may find yourself going through transformational relationship issues with other people—which might be key for helping you to change things from the past or change how you feel about yourself in the now.

Certain people may help mirror new parts of you—parts that previously you weren’t able to bring forward or celebrate.

Coupled with all of that, there will also be these extraordinary new energies coming through you that you won’t have a roadmap for—because they are new. You’re the child learning to walk again. And as that happens it is a little chaotic, it is a little messy sometimes, and that’s okay – you’re new!

Release from the bondage of old ideas

In your newness, this is a great opportunity for those of you who have an idea that you have to be a certain way all the time to let that go. Because if you stay in bondage to that idea, you help to keep others in bondage to limiting ideas of who they are. In other words, they stay bound to who they are because you won’t let go of who you are—even when you’re feeling the impulse to make changes in how you communicate, how you show up, and in what you do.

A healing and soothing perspective

So, I may have confused you slightly because at the very beginning of this I talked about becoming slower and more still. But I’m also talking about acceleration and speed and all the details going on inside and around you.

What I’m trying to address in this video are the multidimensional layers of everything that are impacting and surrounding us at the moment. So if you feel like you’re going a bit crazy, you can see, “Oh, I’m not going crazy. This is just how fast everything is going. This is just how much I’m feeling everything. This is just how sensitive I am.”

Relief in an instant

Remember you can always shut the door. You can shut the door by finding a room or space in your environment where it’s just you for a moment. And if you’re struggling with that because you don’t get those kinds of opportunities, here’s a way to shut the door.

(Lee breathes deeply and closes his eyes)

Close your eyes. Breathe deeply.

As I told people at a seminar a few years ago, this was one of my tricks when I was still learning my boundaries and needed some tricks to help me when I was among people and felt over-stimulated.

I would go to the bathroom—or the toilet, as we like to call it in England—and it wasn’t that I needed the facilities. It was more that in that moment I got to remove myself from the group and go by myself to a place where I’m supposed to be by myself. I would do a self-check:

“How am I right now? Where am I? Oh, I’m over-stimulated. Or my blood sugar feels low. Or that angry man is beginning to bother me, and I think I need to just have a break from him for a while.”

Do these regular checks of yourself more than ever at the moment. So whether you’re on the train, in a work meeting, out with friends and family, or anywhere else, just take a breath and check inside:

“How’s my inner world? Oh, it’s chaotic. Okay, so I shouldn’t take more stimulation right now. I should bring it down.”

Ironically, we’re in a world that offers us more external stimulation than ever before. But I think that’s perfect, because those external stimulators show us how the energy of everything has changed here on this planet. And it can also direct us back to stillness and to the beauties of nature…

Under the magical tree

I’m filming this month beneath this amazing tree here in Saint Helena … powerful land in California. The reason I wanted us to be under here together is because this tree really activated me when I first saw it. The ancient, magic energy it holds feels to me very much like what is moving through our planet right now – ancient, magic energy.

I realize that it doesn’t always look that way when you notice things you don’t like about the modern world. But if you can, try to remember the ancient, magic energy that we are all connected to, the energy that is now renewing in all of us and finding new circuits in our bodies.

The way to remember it if you’re stuck and stressed is to close your eyes and just for some minutes, breathe deeply. Use deep breathing as a little tool this month, and see how it goes for you.