How I Stopped Seeking Approval And Accepted Myself ~ October 8, 2019


Editor’s Note: Oops…no pic allowed for this article (and we all know what that means!) So…please read this article, know and understand the importance of who you are, and BE…

InJoy!

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By Guest Writer William Rodgers,

I often see people looking for recognition and acceptance within a certain community. And as much as I understand their situation, I can’t fully agree with their actions because when I look back at my past, I see myself in them.

I used to seek approval too and was constantly on the lookout for attention. But then everything changed when I decided to think about everything seriously and decide what I really want from life. Here’s the story of how I stopped seeking approval and accepted myself.

Forgive & Forget

It was hard to forgive myself for the things I constantly blamed myself for. I would make myself feel guilty for something very small and unimportant. But if I wanted to change, I needed to get rid of this self-loathing.

I looked back at my past actions and told myself that everything was alright. I forgave myself and let myself forget about these things and stop clinging to the past. From now on, I would be looking into the bright future with no regret of my mistakes or what seemed to me like mistakes.

Love Yourself

I know that it’s a very broad term when I say it like that, but that’s just how it is. I knew that I had to start loving myself. Simply forgiving myself for my actions was not enough, because I had to start accepting who I was and what I did.

One important aspect of loving yourself is having the people around you love you too. Sometimes you will have toxic people around you and I made sure that I cut those out of my life. But the next challenge was to surround myself with people who did love me.

I adopted a puppy from the local shelter. I always wanted to have a pet and I thought that this was the perfect time for it. The dog still lives with me and is always happy to see me. He was one of the reasons for me starting to love myself more back in the day.

Own Your Mistakes

It is difficult enough to admit my mistakes and forgive myself for them, but it was probably even harder to own them. I taught myself not to make the same mistakes again and start looking for new solutions in different situations.

One thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to go back to being miserable and I desperately wanted something to happen. But if I didn’t do anything myself, nobody else would. After all, it was my life.

Be Open To Change

I told myself that it was time. It was time for a change. Even though deep down I wanted it to happen, my first instincts were to hide under my blanket and never face the problems in my life. My job, my friends, my family – it all went down to my fear of facing reality.

So, what I did was train my will to be stronger. I took baby steps rather than changing everything in a single moment. As time passed, I got brave enough to make serious decisions that would lead to big changes in my life.

Respect Yourself

I see many people struggling with this even without realizing it. Respecting myself didn’t come easy. I was used to making myself feel guilty and miserable and I just wasn’t sure that I could ever change that mindset. But there were people who helped.

These were my friends and family who supported me during this difficult period in my life. Some of them turned away from me because they thought I was acting weird, but they were actually angry that I wouldn’t fit the image of me that had developed in their minds. I could finally see who was not a real friend after all.

Boost Your Confidence

Just like learning to respect myself, boosting my confidence was objectively hard. I often felt like I was not good enough, so I would seek acceptance. And now I had to teach myself that I didn’t really need that. That was insane!

But having a positive image of yourself is necessary to change your life and your mindset. It’s tempting to believe that everything is fine even if it’s not. Your confidence is important, so you should definitely work on this aspect of yourself if you see that you are not confident enough.

Stop Making Excuses

One of the biggest problems I had was that I would often look for excuses. Oh, I didn’t do that because of this. I didn’t do that because of that. It was enough for me, I was sick of it. Once I started making the changes I mentioned above, making excuses became an unnecessary task.

I became more responsible and would face the consequences of my actions. Not going to lie, it was pretty difficult at first. It’s still difficult, but I am more used to it now. Time helps you get used to your new self-image and to the new mindset you will have after going through all the steps that I went through.

Become Mindful

After you work on yourself to become better, you will need to start paying attention to others too. Being mindful is about caring about the people around you and valuing them for who they are and what they do. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relative or a stranger – you need to treat them well.

Once I started loving myself, I found it much easier to love others too. I allowed myself to get attached and to experience positive emotions when someone does something good to me. I used to feel as though I don’t deserve it or I am not good enough for them, but everything changed. I changed.

Start Taking Risks

This was probably the most difficult part as I am not a risk-taker at all. I like staying in my comfort zone even if I know that it’s doing me no good. But as I gained more confidence in myself, I discovered that I was more willing to take on challenges.

I owned my mistakes and started making more serious decisions. I welcomed change into my life and started working towards my dreams. Taking risks was a part of my life now as I was constantly looking for something better, something I would love.

Remember To Smile

Last but not least, remember to smile. There are not that many people who can genuinely be happy with what they have and be optimistic even when everything seems to be going downhill. I chose to be the kind of person who smiles even on the darkest of days.

I hope that you become such a person too. It really does make a difference when you love yourself and let others love you, but it’s worth even more when you fully disappear in positive thoughts. It is a feeling like nothing else.

Final Thoughts

All in all, I think that what I learned from this journey of self-improvement, change, and discovery is that our happiness is in our own hands. All we need to do is start making the first steps towards it and not be afraid to allow ourselves to b happy.

About The Author:

William Rodgers is a content writer working for The Word Point, an international translation service. As he knows several foreign languages, William’s main focus is writing SEO articles for businesses that want to drive their brand in the international market. His goal is to continually help more marketers fill Google search results with content that really matters.

Feel free to contact him https://twitter.com/William81597390

By Spending Time Quietly Within You Will Come to a State of Self-Acceptance and Peace Which Cannot Be Found in the World Outside ~ March 3, 2019


by John Smallman

The Tsunami of Love continues to strengthen and intensify as more and more of you set and hold the intention daily to be only loving, whatever arises.  You all incarnated to do just this, and you are doing it, and it is having a most wondrous effect.  Do not doubt the efficacy of your intentions!  Without them the awakening would be moving a lot less rapidly, so your intentions truly are a most essential aspect of humanity’s collective awakening.  When you come into awareness of what you have achieved you will be amazed, and filled with untold joy.  In fact, you will have become fully awake, you will have returned to your natural and most holy state, that of knowing that you are One with and inseparable from God.

Separation is what You chose to experience when You invented the game that allows You to seemingly be separate, alone, abandoned, and utterly disconnected from Source.Β  So much so that You became unaware that there was a Source from which you were separated, and so you believed yourself to be small, separate, and insignificant being in an environment full of others, also separate and alone like yourself.Β  And being apparently separate, and therefore unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated caused you, and still causes you, enormous pain and suffering.Β  You seek relief in relationships, but those with whom you seek relationships are also experiencing separation and abandonment, and so they are seeking from you what you are seeking from them.Β  What you seek is Love, and Love is what you are, but you have totally lost awareness of this, forgotten that It is what you are – although It is within you – and that you and Love can never be separated.

Not knowing this, unable to remember this or be aware of it, you seek what is eternally within you elsewhere, where it can never be found.  It is like the story of someone searching for something at night on the ground in the vicinity of a streetlamp.  A passerby asks the searcher if he lost what he is looking for near where he is seeking it.  To which the searcher replies β€œNo.”  The passerby then asks him why he is searching there, to which the searcher responds β€œbecause the light is better here.”  And, within the dream or illusory world, where you are experiencing life as a human, the light does appear to be much brighter and there appear to be many wise or helpful ones who can assist you in your search.  Whereas, when you go within, because of the veil or cloak of separation you have drawn between yourself and Yourself, it seems to be a very dark and empty place in which most of what you experience are nightmares of guilt, shame, and worthlessness, as your ego judges the empty space in those terms because there are no β€œdelightful distractions” – other people – telling it how wonderful it is.  Those can only be found outside yourself where, if you have achieved or obtained some worldly recognition, you will find appreciation and acceptance . . . temporarily.

Praise and acceptance from without is always temporary, because, as time flows by, others forget or resent your achievements, and withdraw their acceptance and appreciation, and then you have to start your search all over again.

However, if you will go within and sit patiently, in a state in which you have quietened your mind, allowing the β€œalluring and almost irresistible outside distractions” of the outside world to fall away, you will increasingly find yourselves at peace and in a state of self-acceptance.  Realization or awareness will dawn that you are who you are, that you cannot, and in fact do not want to change that, you just want to alleviate or dispel those nightmares of personal unacceptability, which you also see reflected back to you at times from others.  By spending time quietly within you will come to a state of self-acceptance and peace which cannot be found in the world outside, where you are almost continuously experiencing and engaging in judgment and blame with and of others who are also fleeing their sense of shame, unworthiness, or unacceptability.  And those senses are, of course, invalid because you were created unchangeably perfect by God, and therefore remain so.

As unawakened humans, living in and experiencing the dream/nightmare of life in form, that does not seem to be the case.  In this state your egos apparently rule supreme, and the stronger they appear to be the more they seem to achieve materially in worldly success.  And yet you are all aware of many who have fallen from grace, and who are no longer celebrated or appreciated but are instead despised.  The more you seek outside yourselves for what lies only within, the more extreme will be your eventual disappointment.

Living in the world of form you are constantly presented with its apparent reality, and with all the issues and problems of that state.  Life seems to be a constant and ongoing struggle for survival and approval, but even those who have achieved fame and fortune still seek further approval, because egos have insatiable appetites that can never be satisfied.

And of course, you do need to keep reminding yourselves that you are not your egos.  You are divine beings, created perfect like unto God, and forever unchanging.

Your ego is like a self apart from yourself, the part that experiences fear and anxiety, and it is always attempting to alleviate it.  When the ego is experiencing fear or anxiety it is constantly judging, self or others, to assess if some words or actions need be used to express to others its brilliance or to protect it from attack, and in that state it is always expecting to be attacked.  It is therefore very much on the alert, watching out for threats to its safety, and this is a very stressful and energy draining way to live.

However, when you are totally focused on an activity, hobby, or pastime (which could be just thinking creatively, without actual physical action) that you enjoy doing and in which you know you are competent, your ego is relaxed and non-judgmental.  This is very similar to being in a meditative or contemplative state.  That is why meditation and contemplation are so beneficial.  In that relaxed state of self-acceptance the ego is silent, enabling you to hear the Voice for God which is always with you, able and most willing to offer you the help and guidance you need to maintain a sense of self-acceptance at all times.

Self-acceptance is essential for your well-being.  It is your natural state, in which you have no need to seek approval from anyone, and in which you are able, and intend, to be only loving whatever arises.  In that state you recognize that if someone attacks you it is a very clear indication that that person is suffering and is engaging with you out of a sense of fear or inadequacy.  Then, from your place of peace, you are able to silently offer compassion and love – the healing energy that will flow through you abundantly if you just allow it.  Whereas your ego will judge and condemn anyone who attacks, thus encouraging conflict instead of peace, because it loves drama and attention of any kind.

Daily periods spent quietly alone, free from the distractions with which your busy human lives are forever presenting you, are absolutely essential for your well-being, especially now, as all the issues that have been ignored or denied by the human collective arise into your awareness – seemingly threatening your sanity and safety – and that need to be released.  That is all that is needed – RELEASE.  To spend lots of time attempting to uncover the reason for them, their source, is unnecessary and distracting.  Just acknowledge whatever arises, thank it for coming into your awareness so that it can be released, and then release it lovingly, knowing that its purpose, which is now completed, has been part of your awakening process.

As you release these issues, some of which may cause painful memories to arise, forgive them and forgive those who apparently caused them, including yourselves.  Life as a human brings to you a series of lessons, some of which you see and learn, some of which you ignore or refuse, while others do not enter your awareness at all.  They are all steps on your path Home, your awakening to awareness of your oneness with God, and therefore with all sentient life.  They are not intended to fill you with guilt or shame as you remember actions taken or words spoken that were not loving, those were all part of the game of separation.  Yes, they seemed very real, some of them still do – and they were often very painful.  However, you no longer have any need of them because you have all chosen β€“ even though you may presently be unaware of this – to awaken from the game, the dream, into Reality, Oneness, Love.  Here there is no judgment, guilt, blame, or requirement for restitution, there is only complete and utterly unconditional acceptance of each one of you, by every other, as you recognize one another as the One beloved Child of God.

Just to remind you: There is only Love.  Love is Real, and there is nothing beyond the infinite field of creation that is Love, because It includes and embraces everything, and of course there is no beyond.  You are loved way beyond your ability – as humans – to imagine or envision.  Therefore relax in the certainty of your absolute and eternal perfection, worthiness, and lovableness and know that you will know that you are one with, and eternally inseparable from Source, therefore rejoice and celebrate.

With so very much love, Saul.

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as we shift – ascension and onions ~ March 4, 2017


Sophia

This is another great post from Sophia Love. She gets it right…self-acceptance leads to self-love which is oh, so necessary to maintain those high vibrations that lead each one of us to self-realization!

So…please read Sophia’s blog, think about what it would take to accept yourself, lead yourself (through your mind) into self-acceptance, and…

InJoy!