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John Q Jones had a nice job, a nice family, a nice house, and a nice yard. Everything was nice.
Then one day, he was walking down the street near his office and a soft explosion went off in his head.
He looked around and saw a young woman sitting in a parked car. She was reading a newspaper. And he realized he was reading her mind.
She was thinking about a vacation, a trip to Alaska, a boat ride, a book, a boyfriend. He was reading her thoughts and the sensation of doing it was exquisite, quite lucid, quite simple.
He was thrilled beyond measure. For a moment, he thought he would take off and fly.
A few hours later, he left work and went to see his psychiatrist.
βI have a problem,β he said. βToday, I read a personβs mind. And it was wonderful.β
βHmm,β the doctor said, βI have a diagnosis for that. Paranoid schizophrenia. Possibly Bipolar.β
βGood,β Jones said. βI need a diagnosis right away, and drugs.β
βIβm the man with the drugs,β the psychiatrist said. βLetβs start you off with a sedative for sleeping and a bit of Haldol for your psychosis.β
βSounds good,β Jones said, βbut what if it doesnβt work? What if tomorrow, out of the blue, I read someone elseβs mind?β
βThen come back and see me,β the psychiatrist said, βand Iβll up the dosage. Donβt worry.β
βThe feeling of wonderful will go away?β Jones asked.
βDo you want it to?β the psychiatrist said.
βYou bet I do. Itβs the hook. I could yearn after it, and who knows what I might do then?β
βPleasure is a tough one,β the psychiatrist said. βWe pursue it, sometimes to our own detriment. I favor neutrality in all things.β
βSo did I,β Jones said, βuntil today. Now I have aβ¦what would you call itβ¦a desire. And itβs scaring me.β
βDesire is the beginning of all suffering,β the psychiatrist said. βI read that somewhere.β
βThe worst part,β Jones said, βis that Iβm becoming aware of a different space and time.β
βDangerous,β the psychiatrist agreed. βIβm a member of a committee formed to look into other spaces and times. Weβre hoping to draft legislation that outlaws them.β
βI hope you succeed,β Jones said. βSuppose I couldnβt come back to my nice house and my nice life without feeling odd? That would be terrible. Iβm a round peg in a round hole and I want to stay that way. You know, we go to church every Sunday. The Church of Statistical Average. The congregation is growing. Itβs perfect for us. We love it.β
βI understand,β the psychiatrist said.
All this time, he had been reading Jonesβ mind, and Jones had been reading his. They both saw a profound yearning and a profound sadness in the other.
βPerhaps I should consider a lobotomy,β Jones said.
βI wouldnβt rush into that,β the psychiatrist said.
Jones saw that the psychiatrist a) wanted a lobotomy and b) wished for the courage to go through with it.
The psychiatrist saw that Jones wanted to read minds all the time and experience the intense pleasure of leaving ordinary space and time. That was perfectly understandable. Who, having known the sensation, wouldnβt desire it again?
Jones saw that the psychiatrist longed to swim in the ocean of telepathic communication.
The psychiatrist saw that Jones wanted to become unconscious and float like a space-rock in the galaxy, with no consciousness whatsoever.
βHow is your wife?β the psychiatrist said.
βFine,β Jones said. βAnd your family?β
βVery well, fine,β the psychiatrist said. βAre you still sailing on weekends?β
βNow and then,β Jones said. βThe weatherβs been cold lately.β
βYes, it has been.β
βAre you still playing bridge at the club?β
βMost Friday nights.β
Jones reached out and placed a thought in the consciousness of the psychiatrist: βHelp me.β
Silently, the psychiatrist answered: βI need help, too.β
The walls and ceiling of the psychiatristβs office fell away and exposed a great dark warm space.
The two men began to weep.
βWeβre alone,β they thought.
Then Jones said, out loud, βSuppose everyone is like us?β
Faintly, they heard band music, and then people appeared, whispering among themselves and quietly playing instruments, or perhaps the whispering was coming from the instruments.
βI think we just died,β Jones said.
βNo,β the psychiatrist said. βThis is a womb filled with friends. Weβre being born. Theyβre waiting for us to emerge.β
βEmerge into what?β
βHappiness.β
βThe happiness of being ourselves?β Jones said.
βIt appears so,β the psychiatrist said. βWe were in a play.β
βWhat kind of play?β
βI donβt know,β the psychiatrist said, βbut itβs closing. It had a good run, but ticket sales are declining, and the producers are resigned. Theyβve given the order to strike the sets.β
βThe producers?β
βThey designed everything we thought we were.β
Jones laughed.
He couldnβt remember the last time heβd laughed at anything. He thought he was going to jump out of his skin. He tried to bring himself under control.
He laughed harder and that led to weeping.
He smelled fire.
βSomethingβs burning,β he said.
βNo,β the psychiatrist said. βSome one. Iβm burning. Canβt you see it?β
Jones strained at the darkness. He saw an object rising like a rocket.
βDonβt leave me,β he said.
The psychiatrist shouted over a roar, βI canβt wait anymore!β
Jones took off, too. He rose above his station, and felt the heat.
And then, suddenly, they were back in the psychiatristβs office, sitting, facing each other.
βYour wife is still pursuing a graduate degree?β the psychiatrist was saying.
βWhy yes,β Jones said. βTwo evenings a week, and weekends. Her advisor tells her sheβs an exceptional student.β
βIβm sure that pleases her.β
βIt does, yes.β
βWeβre almost out of time,β the psychiatrist said. βAnything else in our remaining moments?β
βYes,β Jones said. βOne thing. Have you ever felt you were in a commercial promoting the very thing you were doing at the moment?β
The psychiatrist smiled.
βAlmost every day.β
He stood up. Jones stood up. They shook hands and Jones left the office.
On the street, as he walked back to his office, he said to himself, βIβm normal, Iβm average, Iβm normal, Iβm averageβ¦β
His eyelids were heavy. Fatigue spread through his body. He staggered into an alley and sat down on the pavement next to a dumpster. He fell asleep.
Sometime later, his memories foggy, he was stretched out on the grass in a park near the river.
Lights were shining in his eyes. He blinked and looked up. He saw a cameraman and a woman in a pink suit holding a microphone.
βWeβre doing a story on the homeless,β she said. βIβm from KGR News. How did you end up here, sir? Would you tell us?β
Jones tried to shake off his intense weariness.
He stood up, scratched at the stubble of his beard, and grabbed the microphone from the newswoman.
βHey!β she said.
βWould you tell me,β Jones said, βhow you ended up in the stage play called Your Life?β
He threw the microphone down and lumbered away across the park lawn.
He walked several miles, entered the Grand Hotel, took out his credit card, and walked up to the check-in counter.
The clerk looked at him and frowned.
βI know,β Jones said. βIβm a mess. Iβm in actor in a play in town. We just closed our run and I didnβt bother changing my costume. Iβd like your best room for a day. I want to clean up and get some sleep.β
The clerk gingerly took Jonesβ credit card and ran it. He was surprised to find it had a hundred-thousand-dollar limit.
βOf course, sir,β he said. βI understand.β
An hour later, showered and shaved, Jones called room service and had them send up a meal.
After devouring a steak and mashed potatoes, he called his tailor and asked for a rush job on a new suit. He spoke to the hotel concierge and put in an order for underwear, socks, a shirt, and a tie from a local department store.
Four hours later, he looked in the mirror in the bathroom and saw himself as he was: businessman, husband, father, pillar of the community.
He was about to call his wife and assure her he was fine, when he glanced at the sliding glass door and saw his psychiatrist sitting out on the balcony calmly smoking a cigarette.
Jones walked over to the door, opened it, and sat down across from the doctor.
βHow did you get here?β Jones said.
βNever mind that,β the psychiatrist said. βFor the past few days, Iβve been tuning into high-level conversations. First, it was the mayor. Then the governor. Then the president. Then, bankers in Brussels. Finally, a small group of men in Geneva. In Geneva, they were talking about a company called Reality Manufacturing, Inc.β
βNever heard of it,β Jones said.
βYou should. They said you were a key figure in it.β
He stared at Jones.
βWait a minute,β Jones said. βThatβs crazy. Youβre crazy.β
βThey seemed very certain.β
βIβm in a company that makes Reality?β
βApparently so.β
βWhat about you?β Jones said.
βMy name didnβt come up.β
βWhat the hellβs going on?β Jones said.
The psychiatrist shrugged. βSeems like weβve gone through a wormhole or something.β
βA what?β
βTake it easy, Jonesβ the psychiatrist said. βWeβll sort this out. I have a theory. Youβre the most normal man in the world. Youβre the epitome of normal. That must be a clue.β
βA clue to what? That Iβm going insane?β
βNo. Your extreme normality is a perfect cover story. Who would suspect that youβre hiding an enormous secret? I believe mysterious forces have hijacked your subconscious and are using it to hide aβ¦system for manufacturing reality as we know it. Youβre an agent. You just donβt know it.β
Silence.
βAnd,β the psychiatrist continued, βI reason that if you die, reality will vanish.β
He stood up, took a step forward, and grabbed Jones by the shoulders.
βIβm going to throw you off the balcony,β the psychiatrist said, βand test my hypothesis.β
At that moment, policemen burst through the door to the hotel room and rushed out on to the balcony. They separated the two men and put them in handcuffs.
βWhatβs the charge, Officers?β the psychiatrist said.
βSniffing at the edges,β a tall policeman said. βMeddling with the grid.β
βCare to explain that further?β the psychiatrist said.
βNo,β the policeman said. βYouβll be taken to a facility for reprocessing. After that, you wonβt need any explanations.β
Two days later, Jones was reunited with his wife at a local hospital. A doctor told Mrs. Jones that her husband had gone on a bender and blacked out in a park.
She nodded. βI always thought he was too normal. Something had to be wrong with him. I understand now. Heβs been hiding his drinking from me.β
The psychiatrist was never heard from again.
On nights when his wife is out with her friends, Jones goes down to his basement and sits on an old battered couch and tries to remember. He doesnβt know what heβs looking for, but he knows itβs there, in his mind.
Occasionally, a wall disappears for a few seconds and then reconstitutes itself. He hears faint music. He senses that the people who are making the music are waiting for him. They know what he needs to know. They want him to break through.
He calls them his βother friends.β He can almost make out their faces. Faces in darkness, hovering in shadows.
One day, after work, he passes a coffee shop and sees, in the window, the woman who was in the car reading the newspaper, the woman whose thoughts heβd read, the woman whoβd started the whole thing.
She glances his way and smiles.
Hearing the faint music, he walks into the shop and sits down across from her.
He says, βI wasnβt reading your thoughts. You were sending them to me.β
She nods.
βBut why?β he says. βWhy me?β
βBecause,β she says, βyou were absolutely normal. Therefore, you were so close to the edge. Just a little push and you would fall off.β
He smiles.
βFalling off,β he says, βis quite an understatement to describe what I went through.β
βYes,β she says. βI know. Have patience. The grid is collapsing, bit by bit. Your assistance is appreciated.β
by Jon Rappoport
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