Posted by Jona Bryndis
We all have drama in our lives, and to a degree, we all have a bit of a drama king of queen inside of us that loves the intensity, the emotionality, the stress or normal or daily life.
This inner drama lover is also the one, who nags us with incessant thoughts about what others think, how we think about them, and what our next 5 to 10 moves should be so we stay in control or feel safe.
This drama is what spins us and keeps us tense and in our hind and midbrain functionality (animal brain). It is hardwired to our emotionality and reactivity…and combined with the constant mental dribble associated, it forms the ego.
The ego is formidable and well trained through years of practice and programming. But, when we agree to go into the heart, it can be felt quite quickly how limiting it is to our path and something that likely needs to be addressed. And, if you have done a little work on yourself, you can feel quite quickly that if we don’t drop these patterns, we get drug along by them.
Now, the ego is not to be shunned, nor something to get rid of, but to be embraced and worked through.
However, the goals of the ego, what it gets out of staying in denial, suppression, hatred, fear, and so on…is what are inner drama king or queen really wants. It is what feeds and allows the ego to grow, and it is what needs to be let go of…
Wantingness, avoidance, superiorism, victimhood, and justifications are just a few of payoffs associated with our ego, and it is letting go of the desire for these that begins to make the changes.
It is our addiction to these payoffs that needs to be challenged, not really the ego. As, when we let go of the payoffs, we will feel the ego go silent.
Going through guilt due to a misunderstanding is just fine.
Fear is a normal part of life.
Getting angry is okay.
Being logical is fine.
And, all of these are part of the ego, and they will continue no matter if you are in your ego or your heart.
However, how we choose to act when these programs or emotions come up is what we are really changing by agreeing to face our ego and work to be more in our hearts.
Now, the practice of working through the ego and all that comes with it, typically is quite a lengthy process. But, for a practical tip, look at your life and see what feeds that tension, the stress, the emotionality and the excessive thinking that makes up your inner drama lover. See what activities your ego loves, or who you are around when you feel most reactive or fearful.
For example, watching the news or television, social media platforms, listening to certain types of music, talking to certain people, or going to various places are all possible examples of things that might be best examined, possibly changed, or simply not done at all.
Ask yourself which of these activities aren’t really needed. Which ones can you easily find a healthier replacement for? And, what do you really get out of doing them? Do you even like them or do you just think that it is normal?
In the case of watching the news or television, for the most part, it is basically spoon feeding your ego addictions. Below are just a few examples of general or typical story themes and what it might do to feed your ego:
Did you know about this? (specialness and possibly fear of loss)
What if this happens? (fear and mental projections of what could be)
Did you know these 5 people died that you never knew in a place you’ll likely never be? (pain and fear)
Are you safe from this? (instills fear and doubt)
Did you see how badly these people were treated? (guilt, victimhood judgment, and vengeance)
Did you know he’s with her? (excitement, fantasy, and gossip)
Here’s an idea…,shift your television or news watching to only ten minutes a day or give it up for a week or month and see how you feel (same goes for social media)!
Do you really think you’ll miss it much? Do you think the world will change so much you won’t recognize it? Has it really changed so much in the past year that you really missed that much?
Sure the people in the articles or shows will change, but have the patterns of the stories?
Sure, if there are parts that you need for work or there are small snippets that do make you feel more open and expansive, do what is needed, but then walk away from it. You won’t miss much and even if you do, what could have you done about it really? And, more importantly, what else could you have done with your time?
So, as you go about your life for the next week, take time and really assess what is aiding your journey in your life and what is feeding your drama king or queen. Have a little talk with that part of you that loves that drama and tell him or her, thank you. Tell them that they have gotten you to this point, but now it’s time to follow a new path and that there will be some changes.
Be bold and brazen and make a list of things that you feel might not serve your highest good or heart, then make a plan to actively work to change each of them. And, if you are unsure how to change, reach out to find new ways or just try ones until you find something better for your life.
As you do, you will notice the inner drama aspect at first gets louder and demands more, just like addicted smoker who decides to walk away. But eventually, that demanding aspect will turn to a whimper, eventually leading to silence.
Have fun with this and see how changing your patterns and how you spend your time ends up changing you.
Energy Coach, Founder and Owner of Selfunification.com