Laura Aboli: About Forgiveness – May 25, 2023


Editor’s Note: Many thanks to E. for this great share!

About forgiveness…

Forgiving those that have done us wrong is never an easy thing to do and yet it’s a very necessary step towards freeing oneself from the burden of pain and trauma.

It doesn’t mean that you must embrace those that have wronged you, back into your life, it simply means that you shift the responsibility and guilt for what they did back on to them, by releasing all your hard feelings towards them.

Life will put them in their place, it’s not your job to do so. Your job is to heal yourself and come out stronger from any difficult situation.

As difficult as forgiving others may be, it pales in comparison to forgiving oneself for one’s own shame and guilt.

The epidemic of self-destructive behaviour that we see in society today; be it alcohol and drug abuse, promiscuity, gambling, porn addiction or food disorders, often stem from feelings of guilt and shame from past emotional trauma.

The longer the negative behaviour goes on, the harder it becomes to forgive oneself for it and so the downward spiral perpetuates, cementing the feelings of self loathe and unworthiness.

These unresolved, unspoken, unforgiven feelings, slowly eat away at people from the inside until they feel they are so undeserving of anything good and positive that they consciously or subconsciously, embark on a journey of self-destruction.

“I am not worthy” is their psychological mantra, the program they’ve been running on, often since childhood.

Such deeply ingrained beliefs about oneself are not easy to overcome, they usually stem from a traumatic experience that still needs to be ‘extracted’, analysed, accepted, forgiven and ultimately discarded.

Remember you are NOT what happened to you, you are what you choose to make of it, and you are worthy, we all are and we all have the chance to redeem ourselves.

When trauma happens early on in life it’s simply not possible to process it in a manner that doesn’t harm us but it’s never too late to turn things around and come out of the dark place you may be in.

You will be surprised at how many people will be willing to help you if you just take the first step and dare to speak about your feelings.

You are not alone, you are not the only one in pain, you are not unworthy, you simply have not yet drummed up the courage to speak your truth. Let it out, no matter how dark it may be, no matter how many people around you it affects, you have to let it go by facing all its uglyness.

Purge yourself from the poison that is festering inside of you, for not only is it killing you, it’s harming those that love you and don’t want to witness your self destruction.

Remember, it’s never too late, life is always giving you the chance for you to take a step in a better direction and God is patiently waiting for you to do so…

4 thoughts on “Laura Aboli: About Forgiveness – May 25, 2023

  1. It’s almost impossible to forgive the unforgivable…
    That is when I realized that I need to forgive myself first…the rest is down hill from there.


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