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Ariel ~ 📢 Extra Extra: Read All About it Here
Note to Readers: There is a great deal of satire, irony, and current news contained here:
United Airlines was reportedly preparing to ground dozens of its Boeing 737 Max 9 aircraft for inspections, a day after a panel blew out of an Alaska Airlines flight. Is anyone of interest trying to flee the country?
Iran is reportedly about a month away from having a nuclear bomb. I wonder who is in their crosshairs? You all may need to take a few items off your bucket list.
Nathan Wolfe, Virologist, Metabiota founder, and Epstein associate, was a consultant for the film “Contagion” in 2011. You know, I can see why they would be associates as Epstein probably discussed his dreams & aspirations about seeding the planet with his DNA over brunch.
Barack Hussein Obama is “deeply concerned” about Trump’s political strength. And rightfully so. As the Jeffrey Epstein Files is not making things any easier.
It was said that Joe Biden will pull out of the presidential race over poor health, from the top JPMorgan strategist. But is anyone really surprised?
Donald Trump said at a rally that… “They don’t want us going back because we found out things they don’t want us to know.” Which is something we all know that we will pretend to know exactly what it is that Trump knows because we want to come off as “in the know” because we know that it’s going to get views if we pretend really good that we do know.
King Charles prepared to cut off Prince Andrew’s security funding at Royal Lodge over Epstein docs dump, Daily Mail reports. Who knew the Epstein files would be cleaning out so many powerful people without anyone requesting their departure?
Taiwan’s defense ministry condemned China for sending balloons across the median line that separates the self-ruled island and China, saying they pose a “serious threat” to aviation routes and are a form of harassment. You know, I think Xi is planning to invade. Anyone?
Alaska Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Portland, Oregon, after aircraft window blows out in mid-air. The tragedy here is that I’m sure everyone had to do a number 2 but couldn’t because it would have required getting up and possibly being airborne.
The Supreme Court will decide whether former President Donald Trump can be kept off the 2024 presidential ballots. Now we all know this shouldn’t be up for discussion. But given how desperate the Cabal is, I am pretty sure if this doesn’t work, they would love for Trump to accidentally shoot himself in the head 11 times.
The Supreme Court allows Idaho to enforce its strict abortion ban, even in medical emergencies, while legal fight goes on. I guess women will have to go back to the old-fashioned way and pull that sucker out themselves and bury by the woodshed out back using crocodile fecal matter or the herbal abortion tea. Or the infamous hanger technique.
The US private Moon mission launched on Monday has run into technical problems. — The Astrobotic company behind the project says its Peregrine spacecraft has experienced an “anomaly” that has stopped it from pointing its solar panels stably at the Sun. Too much moon dust coffee or they encountered a wifi dead zone.
Trump says Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin should be ‘fired immediately’ for dereliction of duty after mysterious ICU stint that was kept hidden from Biden and the White House. Well, those Jeffrey Epstein Files has a lot people booking plane tickets.
Biden admin is asking Mexico to help curb the huge flow of migrants into the U.S., as Biden runs out of options to fix a problem that is hurting his polling. Maybe Joe Biden would come up with a genius idea of having a live Mariachi Band at the border as a distraction to slow down migration until he comes up with another plan that doesn’t work.
Angry farmers opposed to German government plans to cut tax breaks for agriculture used tractors to block roads across the country. I heard this actually worked. Maybe people in government thought about their refrigerators. Just a hunch.
Ariel 2 of 2 ~
The head of heavily indebted Chinese property developer Evergrande’s electric vehicle unit has been detained, the firm said Monday. The Bitcoin Maxis are hoping this has no effect on their Ethereum holdings since finding out that Bitcoin was supported by Jim Cramer as a permanent crypto coin.
The iPhone that fell from Alaska Airlines flight 1282 after window blew survived a 16,000-foot drop. I’m not a genius at marketing but there is a PR team sitting in a conference right now trying to come up with a new advertising campaign that has to do with the durability over Iphone safety features that are given to you at the airport if loved ones want to recover sentiment items in case you happen to get sucked out a airplane window.
President Trump hints that he walked away after the stolen 2020 election to avoid a civil war:
“There’s no conspiracy… We have all the evidence. We have all the proof… And you know, it’s okay in a certain way… You rip the country apart when you get into that stuff.” Yes, we do not want our favorite liberal owned coffee shops putting that extra ingredient in there that would make us woozy see four different boxes to check on our ballot that all say Democrat if we decide to vote with our Starbucks vouchers for 70% off of all Lattes.
Big Pharma Executive Blows Whistle: ‘COVID Vaccines Are Designed To Kill Billions’
COVID-19 mRNA vaccines were deliberately designed to be ineffective and lethal, according to bombshell testimony by pharmaceutical executive Alexandra “Sasha” Latypova. You know I would be shocked at this if I was an illegal immigrant who was promised free food & shelter from a Marriot hotel brochure in NYC sponsored by Pfizer.
New Jeffrey Epstein documents released. Another 17 exhibits unsealed by the court. You know I am starting to think someone is having a little too much fun releasing these documents at random intervals. It’s like they are pulling them out of the same jar Dave Chapelle puts his jokes in.
Ukraine’s Zelenskiy may attend Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum in Switzerland next weekend on January 15th. I do not think there’s any advice Klaus can give Zelensky to win this war with V. Putin other then politely requesting Putin to please use Vaseline this time after he surrenders.
Actor Mark Ruffalo Shares AI-Created Images of Trump to Promote MISLEADING EPSTEIN NARRATIVE, Then Criticizes Musk for Perceived “Increase in Misinformation.” Seems Mr. Mark is trying to shoehorn D. Trump into the Epstein Files the same way they did his role on the Marvel She-Hulk series that faced backlash because he was acting as a stand-in for the solo Hulk movie he never starred in.
Screenrant.com came out with a fact check and said no, the new Star Wars director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy did not say she wanted to make men uncomfortable. And it is taken eight years out of context when she was being interviewed by Jon Stewart from “Daily Show”. And I came out with my own fact check and said 8 years ago still exist when this was said on April 22 2015.
Pro-Palestine protesters have launched a coordinated event and shut down three bridges and the Holland Tunnel in New York City. Let me guess the only requirement to join these protest is to be unemployed. Listen, I support Gaza, but my boss doesn’t and he needs someone on the fries. Unfortunately that’s my ride to work.
SEC Chair Warns Against Crypto Shenanigans: Gary Gensler suspects crypto fraudsters are getting creative. Rumor has it they’re promising investors a ‘Magic Crypto Lamp’ that grants three wishes – the first wish is a Lambo, the second is a moon trip, and the third is figuring out what they invested in. Be cautious out there, folks; even genies have terms and conditions!
Berlin’s Agricultural Uproar: Farmers have taken a break from chasing sheep to chase political change. Their slogan? ‘More Cows, Fewer Bills.’ Protestors are now handing out ‘Hayrides to Democracy’ brochures, hoping politicians will hop on the wagon and steer clear of taxing their tractors.
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Rose Rambles... 