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U.S.—Unconsolable wailing was heard across the country today as the left learned that there is a chance Roe v. Wade could be overturned, which would “lead to more babies being allowed to live.”
The outcry from the left came after a leak from the Supreme Court indicated the justices drafted an opinion overturning Roe, stoking fears that millions more cute infants made in the image of God could be born instead of having their brains sucked out with a vacuum.
“Just picture all their cute little faces!” screamed pro-abortion protester Julia McDoubles as she held a sign reading “DOWN WITH THE BABIES” on the steps of the Supreme Court. “If Republicans had had their way over the past few decades, there’d be, like, 60 million more of the precious little darlings! We can’t let this happen!”
“No more babies! No more babies!”
Ocasio-Cortez joined the protesters, crying outside the barricade surrounding the Supreme Court in a dress reading “KILL THE BABIES.”
At publishing time, Republicans had told the nation’s leftists to calm down, as there’s “almost zero chance” they actually follow through on their promise to do something about abortion.
Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.